Big Haircut

I gave Lil Sis a haircut last night.

She was in the tub and I had just washed her hair.

It hung down in long tendrils.

I watched her play with it and dunk the ends in the water.

Is it too long? Do you want it shorter?

"Uh huh, shorter." she answered.

I got out a brush and scissors.

I cut the first bit.

Then another.

No turning back now.

It wasn't her first haircut. 

She got a couple inches off at the start of the summer too.

"This is fun!" Lil Sis giggled.

Definitely the first time she declared a haircut "fun."

Big Bro begged me to cut his hair too.

Many, many times.

I finished up.

Her hair was so much lighter.

She looked like her baby self.

Dada of Ma 'at was less amused but held his tongue.

I was glad to lighten Lil Sis' load.

I was glad to not define her by her pigtails, though they are beautiful.

I was glad to let her be 2.

To let her play not be bogged down by long, thick hair.

To relieve myself of some hairdressing duties too.

You don't need long hair to be beautiful.

You don't need long hair to be feminine.

Her grandma did love braiding it though.

The good thing is, hair grows back.

"Help Me! Help Me!"

I want to raise both my children as feminists, but sometimes I wonder how. Perhaps I'm being oversensitive but Christmas brought up a few... trigger points shall we say.

My daughter got a baby doll and a stroller for Christmas, and she absolutely loves them. I had a hand in making sure she got those gifts so it's no problem. I tried to introduce a doll to my son (a boy doll that I had growing up) when he was one but he didn't take to it in the same way.

She also got some Strawberry Shortcake dolls. Not first generation child-like, innocent looking ones like these:

The modern day, taller, "sexier" ones like these:

 

These dolls epitomize the classic sexualization of young girls, unattainable beauty standards, etc, etc. My daughter is so little she won't care, at least not yet. But the dolls certainly gave me pause.

Lastly, we got her a Calico Critters Baby Discovery Forest. There is a little perch at the top of the tree and her favorite thing is to put a Critter, other figurine, or stuffed animal at the highest perch and say, "Help me! Help me!"  

Where she learned this, I have no idea. It wasn't from me. She loves it, but I find myself wanting her to play and put emphasis herself as the rescuer. A few days after Christmas she started playing "Help me! Help me!" on the train table, but she has started being the rescuer too.

"Help me! Help me!....Otay!" She exclaims in her cute one year old way as one toy rescues the other.

 

I have to remind myself she isn't even two yet, and her play doesn't mean the same to her as it does to me. She has so much time to change and grow. Still, it is something I will continue to be mindful of as she grows up.

Raising Feminists

Ever since the Miley Cyrus/VMA debacle there has been a flood of articles and blogs (some progressive, some backwards) about how girls (and boys) should behave, and what to expect of the opposite sex.

I want to raise both my son and my daughter as feminists.

I was raised in a feminist household. When I was little my dad would read my sisters and I fairy tales but reverse the roles so that the girls were the ones rescuing the boys. He died when I was ten years old, so then feminism really became the default. In a household of four women we had to figure out how to get anything and everything done ourselves. There were no gender roles or limits. I love what my dad did in his storytelling for the sake of his three little girls, but it's not entirely the brand of feminism I need to teach my children. Since I have both a son and a daughter I need an all-inclusive brand of feminism...the kind that looks at gender equality including men's liberation, not just women's liberation. I want to raise them as equals, untainted by notions of what boys should do vs. what girls should do. To me, it seems like a no-brainer in this day and age.

• I want both my kids to climb trees, play in the sand, and get dirty.
• I want both my kids to make music and art and dance.
• I want both of my kids to play sports and be athletic.
• I want both of my kids to enjoy math and science.
• I want both my kids to love animals and plants and know how to care for them.
• I want both of my kids to invent and build things.
• I want both of my kids to know how to do laundry and basic sewing.
• I want both of my kids to learn to cook and clean.
• I want both of my kids to feel like babysitting is a decent way to earn pocket money as a young teen.
• I want both of my kids to mow the lawn, muck out the chicken coop, or remove a spider from the house.
• I want both of my kids to love themselves and their bodies.
• I want both of my kids to give respect to the opposite sex, and be respected by the opposite sex.
• I want both of my kids to feel confident enough to ask someone out on a date.
• I want both of my kids to feel safe when they are out at night with their friends.
• I want both of my kids to know it is OK to be the primary breadwinner, or not.
• I want both of my kids to know that raising children is a sacred and honorable job.
• I want both of my kids to know they can do and be anything they choose.