Big Haircut

I gave Lil Sis a haircut last night.

She was in the tub and I had just washed her hair.

It hung down in long tendrils.

I watched her play with it and dunk the ends in the water.

Is it too long? Do you want it shorter?

"Uh huh, shorter." she answered.

I got out a brush and scissors.

I cut the first bit.

Then another.

No turning back now.

It wasn't her first haircut. 

She got a couple inches off at the start of the summer too.

"This is fun!" Lil Sis giggled.

Definitely the first time she declared a haircut "fun."

Big Bro begged me to cut his hair too.

Many, many times.

I finished up.

Her hair was so much lighter.

She looked like her baby self.

Dada of Ma 'at was less amused but held his tongue.

I was glad to lighten Lil Sis' load.

I was glad to not define her by her pigtails, though they are beautiful.

I was glad to let her be 2.

To let her play not be bogged down by long, thick hair.

To relieve myself of some hairdressing duties too.

You don't need long hair to be beautiful.

You don't need long hair to be feminine.

Her grandma did love braiding it though.

The good thing is, hair grows back.

Mr. Independent

This morning I told Big Bro to go get dressed for school. "It's picture day today," I said. "Do you want to surprise me and pick out something to wear?"

Big Bro started to do his normal whine but suddenly stopped short. He ran into his room and actually got dressed. He came back a couple minutes later with a proud look on his face happy to show off his new shirt and jeans.

Who is this kid? I asked myself. I don't know, but I like him.

We went downstairs. I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He answered yogurt.

Before I could do anything he asked me, "Mommy, is the dishwasher clean?"he had already looked in the basket for our very limited collection of kid bowls. Yes it is I answered.

He got his bowl out with a small assist from his father. He got out the yogurt from the refrigerator.  He even got two spoons, one for him and one for Lil Sis. He scooped his yogurt himself, then he got a cup by himself and went to fill it with water in the bathroom sink.

After eating breakfast he asked his father "can we go to school now?"

WHO IS THIS KID???

I don't know, but I hope he sticks around.

Adventures in Gendered Childhood

I was reading a story book with Big Bro and Lil Sis a few days ago. It's a sweet story about how much parents love babies soon as they're born and what they can do and how they grow…

It started when the story talked about preschoolers learning to do new things by themselves. Big Bro saw the illustration of the little boy and said it looked like himself. And it does. The little boy has blonde hair and was wearing a blue shirt and khaki shorts just like a Wild Kratt.

Then the book started listing occupations that preschoolers might want to grow up to be. Big Bro pointed out how he wanted to be a builder or an explorer, just like little boys in the books.

Lil Sis pointed at the picture of the little girl as a pet shop keeper and said "that's me!"

I told her how it would be fun to be a shopkeeper, she loves animals (though not in person so much, she thinks they're a little scary). But then it dawned on me. In this innocent, sweet little story about kids growing up what do you notice about the boys and girls depicted in this book?

Boys are doctors, builders, and explorers. All rather active professions. Girls were painters, dancers and pet shop owners. All rather passive professions.

So I asked Lil Sis, "Would you want to be an explorer? Or a doctor? Or a builder?"

"No. The pets!" She said in her adorable 2-year old voice. She was willing to consider the painter too.

I was suddenly mad at this cute little story. I had read it several times already and just thought it was sweet. Now, because of my kids, my eyes were open and I saw that it was contributing to the not-so-subtle ideals of what boys and girls should aspire to be. Did she not want to even consider being a doctor, explorer, or builder because the drawings were a little boy? A drawing of a little boy that my son identified so strongly with? Could she just not see herself in those roles because of the drawing?

I resolved that I should do something. I don't know what yet. Just something so that she really knows that she can do anything. There's nothing wrong with being a pet caretaker, but I want her to know that she can do more than that if she wants.

But then Big Bro said something that made me feel just a little better.

"Mommy, I want to be an explorer and a daddy when I grow up!"

Rock on little dude. Well Lil Sis is two years behind Big Bro. She has more time to learn. She already plays with Legos, dinosaurs and trucks as well as dolls and stuffed animals. They both do. I think we will be okay dealing with this whole "gendered childhood" kerfuffle. This story book was just a small reminder to keep doing what we are already doing: promoting gender equality.

Child Labor is Fantastic

Do you have kids in your house who are bored? Are they perhaps a little whiny? Here is the solution for you!

Take them to the garden to help you pull out the bean plants. Then have them pull the dried pods off each plant and put them in a collection pot. Next set them up in the kitchen to open each pod and capture all the delicious black beans.

Doesn't Big Bro look happy?

Now Lil Sis wants to help too? No problem! Move the bean collecting pot to the floor to ensure that no one will fall off their chair while reaching for new pods to open. Now everyone can be part of the fun!

In no time all your beans will be neatly sorted into containers. Twenty-five feet of bean plants turned into 8 cups of delicious black beans for soup and chili!

Disclaimer: the kids actually only helped for maybe five minutes. They were responsible for producing 1/8 cup of beans...maybe.

Big Bro & the Twin Towers

By the time you're reading this blog it will be September 11, 2014. 13 years after the World Trade Center was demolished in a terrorist attack on the United States.

I remember September 11, 2001 well. I was at home at my mom's house. I was working and waiting to depart for my study abroad trip to Ireland just one week later.

I was still in bed when she came upstairs looking shaken and told me to come watch the TV with her. I saw on TV when the first tower collapsed and then the second one.

It was like a bad dream. Totally surreal. My uncle and cousin were living in New York City at the time but we couldn't get through on the phone lines to hear any news of how they were doing. We found out later though they were thankfully okay.

Later that day I went to work my shift at the local grocery store. All the staff was shocked, and the customers too. It was weird that everyone was going about their business even though everything for our country and world had just changed.

A silver lining occurred though, as I was bagging groceries I looked up and saw a friend and I hadn't seen for two years. It was Des, from Ireland of all places. He had been trying to cross the Canadian border and couldn't get through since it was shut down. So he stayed with me and my family instead.

I remember returning to my college campus a few days later. I didn't go to Ireland for study abroad. My mom wouldn't have it. I wasn't totally sure I wanted to be so far from home with all the political uncertainty either. I remember there were yellow ribbons everywhere. I found myself hating those yellow ribbons. I just wished I could wake up from this bad dream. Or at least fast-forward to a time when the world was less distressed. 

*****

Just a couple weeks ago the kids and I were looking for things to watch on Netflix. I came across a series of shorts called Scholastic: Tall Tales. It has 4 animated books, one of which is the story "The Man Who Walked Between The Towers." It is the true story of Philippe Petit who, in 1974, pulled off a daring stunt and walked on a wire between the Twin Towers for over one hour. 

At the end of the story it explains that even though the towers are not there anymore, they are still there in memory. 

Of course Big Bro then asked, "why are the towers not there anymore?" I just wished I had read the story description better beforehand.

"Because some bad guys knocked them down." was my only answer. I want to protect him from the adult ailments of war and terrorism.

I love the innocence of children. In their world war does not exist. In their view human suffering doesn't go beyond not getting exactly what you want the precise moment you want it. I want to hold on to that childhood innocence as long as we can.

In the meantime I will work and pray for a more peaceful world.

Not Truly Ready for Fall

This week feels like fall. The temperatures are a bit cooler and the crickets are chirping louder lately. Some of our maple tree leaves are turning orange but they always turn early.

It was a tough day with the kids. So I was constantly looking for something to keep them occupied. I get tired of playing "you be a person and I'm a kitty/doggie."

I had a bag of apples that needed to be used up so the perfect project was to make an apple crisp. I intended to have the kids help me peel and cut the apples using our apple peeler-corer-slicer. It looks like this:

The kids have had a lot of fun with in the past. However it wasn't working right so I had to abandon it much to Big Bro's chagrin. I started peeling apples with a knife while explaining that he's too little to use knives. He told him he should go play until I'm ready to start mixing things.

(Photo by Big Bro with lots of filtering because the original was so dark)

As he often does in his four-year-old way, he persisted that he really, really, really wanted to help. After a couple minutes my smart mom hat came on and I realized the apples are soft enough that they could be cut with a butter knife. So I peeled pieces of apple and gave them to him to cut into chunks.

He loved it. He was really good at cutting the right size chunks and was very exacting in his approach.

Lil Sis got in on the action by pouring in the sugar, then she and Big Bro stirred the apples, cinnamon, and sugar together.

I made the crumble and let them help put the last bits of it on top of the apples in the pan. They enjoyed taste testing it too.

I'm not convinced that I'm really ready for fall and cold weather, but it was a great project to pass the afternoon, and the apple crisp tasted delicious.

The Disappearance of BIG Pepper

This spring I wrote about how Lil Sis' best snuggly friend "Baby Pepper" disappeared. She was later found in our house.

But did you know that last summer Big Pepper also disappeared?

It was early summer. The kids and I were expecting my husband home within an hour or so. Suddenly I noticed that Pepper was not hanging around with us in the backyard as usual.

Pepper has nearly 5 acres of land to roam so I wasn't very concerned. I whistled for her and shouted her name while clapping my hands. Normally this brings her running, but that time: nothing.

I called Grandpa on the phone and asked if he would help with the search. Still nothing.

Now I was getting worried and decided the next step was to drive around looking. I left the kids with Grandpa so I could find my dog. As I opened the driver door of my van I looked in the backseat and there she was. Pepper. She had been lying on the back third row bench seat the whole time. She wagged her tail and was so happy to see me. 

Turns out, when the kids and I got home that afternoon I inadvertently left one of the sliding van doors open. At some point Pepper climbed into the van and made herself comfy in the third row. Then, a couple hours later Grandma came to visit and closed the van door. She didn't tell me that she saw the door open or that she closed it. Pepper being the docile dog that she is didn't even think to bark when I was calling for her. I just thank the universe that it was not a hot day!

From that day on I made a conscious effort to close the van doors immediately or check the backseat for Pepper before closing the doors.

So tonight, more than a year later, suddenly my husband asked "Where's Pepper? She wasn't hanging out with us in the backyard like usual."

"You're right. Oh no." I answered and proceeded to go outside to call and whistle and stomp and clap for her. A minute later I realized, the van is in the garage. The doors had been left open for a while before I closed them. I had better go check.

There she was again. Lying in the third row. Wagging her tail and happy to see me. Thank goodness it was not a hot day and thank goodness the van was in the garage instead of full sun.

She came inside for dinner and a drink and is now sleeping peacefully on our couch.

I've got to be extra vigilant about the van doors again.

Pepper in one of her favorite spots

Kratt No More

"He's not wearing his Wild Kratts today!?" 

This is a statement I have been hearing often from friends and family.

It's true, and let me assure you it is not by choice. After nearly 6 months of wearing the same two shirts and two shorts every day (and even wearing them both at the same time  in a few silly moments), Big Bro has officially worn out both his Wild Kratt shorts. 

Exhibit 1:

Exhibit 2:

His green Wild Kratts shirt even has a tiny hole in the front as well. You can see my fingertip through it below.

Exhibit 3:

Only his blue shirt has remained unscathed.

Exhibit 4:

Pre-school has started up again so the agreement is he can wear his hole-y pants at home but not to school. He has reluctantly agreed. I even offered that he can wear his Wild Kratt shirt and different pants. His reply? 

"That would be silly."

Too bad no one is selling cargo shorts in fall.

And by the way, as soon as he gets home he changes back into his hole-y cargo shorts (exhibit 2 only) and Wild Kratts shirt.

Back to school blues

I've got a case of the blues today, but it's not the kind you might expect. I know so many kindergartners this year. It seems like half of the kids that we socialize with are starting kindergarten this year!

Today is the first official day of school and while their parents are posting cute photos of them getting on the bus or walking into school, my kids are home screaming their heads off. The first major tantrum was due to a fight over sharing their grandmother's iPad.

I got them to calm down from that tantrum by going outside for a while. Then we came back inside for lunch. While they were happily eating I thought to myself I will just sneak out quickly and put the trash into the bin.

I did, and all was well. 

Then I decided to take a second load of recycling out. But this time when I got back I heard lots of raucous noise and saw the kids flinging noodles and spitting their milk and water at each other.

I swooped in and grabbed their cups and ushered them to the sink, "No, you do not spit your drinks at each other." I declared trying to be calm but firm.

Lil Sis recovered quickly with a pout and an "I'm sorry" and then went to the playroom to play. Big Bro was a different story. He howled and cried and said "no I want my cuuuup!" A huge, lengthy tantrum ensued.

Last Wednesday when all the FB posts were about kindergarten orientation my kids also decided it was the perfect day to have lots of tantrums.

So as my friends lament about how their kindergarteners are reaching the beginning of independence, and wondering where did the time go? I look at those pictures with a sigh and wish that my kids were going to school too. 

The time with our children is short when you look back on it. When you are in the thick of the 0 to 5 years and marinating in tantrums, it can seem like the school years will never arrive. 

"It goes so fast!  Enjoy it while you can!" 

"Be careful what you wish for, your time will come soon!"

That's what some parents will think as they read this. Heck, it's what parents have told me and every other parent alive.

And I know....

Next year Big Bro will start kindergarten, and Lil Sis will start preschool. Part of me is hugely grateful for all these kindergartners going ahead of Big Bro. In the midst of my daily frustrations those families are reminding me to slow down and enjoy this last year when both my kids are home.

But come next year, I think you might see me looking a little bit like this:

Photo from Glennon Melton's blog Momastery http://momastery.com/blog/2014/09/02/it-gets-better-2/

10 hours to myself a week? I look forward to it. But who's counting? ;-)