Are you a good communicator?

I went to my doctor's office the other day. I walked in behind a gentleman who opened the door for me since I was pushing my daughter in a stroller. The receptionist behind the counter looked at me and suddenly said "Go ahead." while gesturing toward the other counter where the man had gone. I must have given her a confused look because she followed up with, "You're with him, right?"

"No," I replied. I went closer to her counter and she gave me a somewhat blank look.
"I have an appointment." I began.
"Oh, I was just trying to figure out if you were here for the flu clinic."
"No, but I should get a flu shot actually.... My appointment is [blah blah blah]."

This was, in my mind, an unacceptable exchange. A good communicator (and good customer service worker) would have just said something like, "Hello, may I help you?" Then this whole bizarre and confusing situation could have been avoided and gone much more smoothly.

At the same time that I was having a hard time with the receptionist, another man was having a hard time checking out.
"Do you have a co-pay, sir?" the check-out woman asked.
The man was confused, so eventually the check-out woman asked to see his card.
"It says here that you have a $15 co-pay." she stated.
The man said something like, "Oh, ok. Do you want it now?"
"Yes, you have a $15 co-pay, it says so right here on your card."

This same exchange repeated about three times. The man was clearly still confused, but each time the only thing the check-out woman changed was the tone of her voice which was increasingly annoyed. She even gave a wary look over to the receptionist and I and her eyes were saying this guy is an idiot. Finally she curtly explained "Yes, I need it now. That's what a co-pay is."

These are very specific examples and could be considered to be simple customer-service issues, but I've witnessed similar communication failures in personal/non-business conversations as well.

So, my conclusions are that to be a good communicator you have to:

1. Clearly state what your objective is. As I tell my son, "Use your words." Don't say partial phrases or give looks and body gestures and expect the other person to know what you want.

2. If someone doesn't understand you the first time, find a new way to say it. Saying the same words over and over in an increasingly annoyed/flabbergasted tone does nothing to help you or the poor, confused person you're trying to talk with. I remember doing exercises in middle school on things like this. People understand things in different ways, so sometimes you have to change your method in order to reach them. No excuses. Take initiative to be a good communicator.

These are just two examples I thought of. Do you have any other tips on how to be a good communicator?

Kicking the Sugar Habit: Happy Halloween!

Oh Halloween. An unofficial start to the Holiday Season and the unofficial Season of Gluttony. It starts out with oodles of candy both before and after October 31st. Then comes Thanksgiving with pies up the wazoo. Then it's immediately into Christmas with cookie swaps and parties laden with sweets and other treats. Culminating into the main event of Christmas Day with more chocolates and candy canes. Don't forget Valentine's Day and Easter as sugar central holidays too.

I wish I had better willpower but I was raised on German chocolate. I am, sadly, rather weak in the face of delectable sweets. My own Season of Gluttony started extra early when my aunt came for a visit from Germany with boxes and boxes of superior German and European chocolates and Haribo gummi bears at the ready.

Studies have shown that sugar is as addictive as cocaine and it contributes to heart disease, obesity and even cancer. Yikes. There's been a lot of energy expended by various organizations to help people break their sugar addiction. The experts at endsugaraddiction.com have a lot of advice and kicking the sugar habit is comparable to fighting any other addiction. You have to "live side by side with your addiction" because sugary snacks and drinks are available everywhere and cost little. But sugar changes your brain chemistry by blocking your brain's natural pleasure producing chemicals and making you crave sugar to fill the void.

Well, no time like the present, All Hallow's Eve, to kick the sugar habit. Or maybe I'm nuts. My son is going to revolt. He has been on a sugar high ever since my aunt first arrived with chocolate three weeks ago, and it's only going to get worse. But the local children's store, Buttered Noodles, has a candy buyback program running through November 7th that ships candy to troops and their families overseas via Operation Gratitude. Trade in all (or some of) that candy for 20% off a toy or book. Maybe my sweets-loving son will actually go for it. Wish us luck! 

The USS Haribo has had its last voyage

Ciao Milka! Once you are gone, no more.

My Daughter the Imp

We recently decided to have a family movie night, it was our first one really. We picked Toy Story to show our 3 year old, and of course my 1 year old daughter was with us too.

"You sure that's an ok movie for them?" my husband asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. There's the part with the boy "Sid" and the mutant toys but we can fastfoward that part." I assured him.

Not having seen the movie for perhaps 10 years I had forgotten how much the cowboy Woody says "idiot." It's definitely not a term I wanted my 3 year old to pick up, and thankfully he didn't. I also forgot how intense the movie is for kids, especially when the toys get abducted by Sid and a good portion of the movie takes place in Sid's creepy house. Oops. Parenting fail #???.

My daughter cried out and whined and said "uh oh" a lot while anxiously watching the screen. However, if I tried to hide the movie from her and distract her she would push me away and keep watching. She cried, whined, and uh-oh'ed her way through the whole thing. Then when it was over she, despite all the stress, she said and signed "MORE!"

But the movie was over and it was bedtime. My son fell asleep quickly while my daughter did headstands in her bed and tried to charm me into letting her out. Her floor nap earlier that day was seriously backfiring. So I let her come back to the living room with me and my husband to watch some of our shows. My husband made popcorn which she LOVED and also requested "MORE!" My husband melted at her cuteness and obliged (getting him to make more popcorn made me very happy too).

As he went downstairs to make popcorn I brought her to the bathroom with me. She disappeared when I was washing my hands. I ran and found her next to her brother's bed, right by his head, calling his name repeatedly trying him to wake up.

"NOOO!" I whispered shouted. "He's sleeping. Shhh. Quiet."

"Shh! Quiet." she repeated. She had never said "quiet" before. I was so proud. How could I be annoyed at such a display of personality and cuteness, and learning new words too.

After another bowl of popcorn and an episode of some PBS show, I forget which, she finally went to bed at 9:30...not for want of trying to charm me into letting her stay up even later.

Another First: Black Beans

Though our garden has been under wraps for several weeks now there was one last bounty it offered: black beans. It was a new crop for us and the inspiration of my husband to try it. He planted one small row (perhaps 5 feet long at best) of black bean plants. You're supposed to let them stay on the vine the whole season, then wait until the pods are all dried up before harvesting them. My husband did this with the kids this Sunday while I took a lovely nap. They came in and showed me a bucket full of dried bean pods and we all set to shelling them and collecting the black beans inside.

Shucking beans. A fun job as long as it is short-lived. The beans were bouncing all over the kitchen despite our best efforts to keep them contained. Dried bean pods are like little catapults.

While we shelled beans my daughter, who refused to nap earlier, fell asleep while reading a book on the living room floor.

We ended up with about one and a half cups of beans. Not that many, but they will go great in chili on a cold day.

Pumpkin Party!

Today's post features a fun post from my good friend and fellow blogger Tenor Dad. He's a very funny dad and musician. Enjoy! To see my post go to his page www.tenordad.com:

It's good to know people.  When your car breaks down, it's especially nice to have a mechanic in the family, and on those occasions in life when you find yourself in need of expensive legal advice, I would recommend having a blood relative in the lawyering biz.  When you are looking for someone to sing at your wedding, you are lucky if you have an opera singer coming anyway, and when it comes time to carve Jack O'Lanterns, you can't beat having a friend with a farm.

We were invited out to a pumpkin carving party this weekend, because, you see, there were just too many leftover pumpkins!  That's right.  Free pumpkins.  And food!  Candy!  Costumes!  Dancing!  Fun times had by all!  We were excited.  After a few issues with the GPS being wrong and my wife being right (as always), the farm signs started to appear on the road and the kids started to bounce around in the back seat.  They wanted to get their costumes on and do some carving!

Ruby, who is 6, is going as a light bulb this year.  She has threatened to go as a light bulb for the past several years, and this time we finally had to do it.  We did receive some flak when it was discovered that she was not an energy efficient light bulb, but she's really more of a cartoon light bulb, so I don't think she is making an environmental statement with her costume.  Edward, who is 3, is going as Iron Man again.  He barely fits into the costume from last year, but he is quite insistent, so if he wants to waddle around stuffed into an outfit two sizes two small, well, who am I to argue?  It's his night.

There was a lot of disappointment amongst the children as they realized that we were not going out to an actual pumpkin patch to retrieve the pumpkins, but instead were choosing one (or more!) from some huge bins outside the barn.  The adults were not disappointed because, hey, free pumpkins!  Anyway, all traces of discontent disappeared immediately once the actual carving began.  Ruby was able to carve hers all by herself for the first time, much to the terror of her parents, but there was no blood at any time, so we felt like it was a win overall.  Edward actually cared about his pumpkin for the first time and carefully directed me to cut a face exactly to his specifications.  Circle.  Circle.  Circle.  Happy mouth.  I believe those were his exact words.

Ruby loved it so much that she actually carved two pumpkins, and probably would have kept going except that they turned the lights out to view all of the glowing Jack O'Lanterns made by the party-goers, and we would not let Ruby use a jagged knife in the dark.  All of the pumpkins looked great, and as the disco ball lit up the barn we all began to dance as they got the piñata ready.

The piñata was a huge, homemade ball of excitement that I somehow got stuck on the other end of.  I had wandered over to try and snag a good location for snapping pictures of my kids, was handed a rope, and before I knew it I was in charge of pulling the thing up and down, making sure that it was a good height for the kids that were whacking it.  I did manage to get a few pictures with my free hand, but mostly I held the rope.  And it was actually pretty fun.  When that thing finally busted open I yanked that rope back and forth, shaking candy and toys all over the place.  It was a big responsibility.

When that was all over, we decided to take the kids home to bed.  We had a long drive ahead of us and we had already stayed later than we'd planned.  The kids were tired, but nobody wanted to leave.  The music was thumping again and everyone was dancing around the pumpkins in their costumes and eating candy.  In other words, it was kid heaven.  Ah, who am I kidding.  It was grown-up heaven too.  None of us wanted to go, but as adults it was our job to make sure that we made it home and got sleep and stuff.  But you'd better believe we'll be going back again next year!

For more stories from Tenor Dad, a stay-at-home-dad and opera singer, check out www.tenordad.com or www.facebook.com/tenordad

Geeking Out & Saving the World

As a capstone to 24 Hours of Reality I finally dove in and and did my first climate presentation this past Wednesday night. I invited 40 of my closest friends, family, and neighbors to come to my house and hear my version of Al Gore's slideshow. 5 showed up, but at least they came, especially since it was the first night of the World Series. It also forced me to stop stalling and edit Al's 360+ slides into something a bit more manageable. Deadlines are great friends sometimes.

I edited the slideshow to make it less overwhelming/depressing because climate change research is sobering to say the least. I focused on general worldwide data and trends and included examples primarily from the US. I added my own anecdotes about what I have personally experienced in this changing climate which is definitely different than when I was a child in the 1980s and 1990s.  Audience members related their personal experiences as well. It was wonderful to hear people relate this big, abstract issue to their own personal lives.

Though the turnout was small, it was a great event. My audience liked the presentation, understood the content, and it held their interest for the 22 or so minutes that I talked pretty much nonstop--so they reported back to me afterwards. It didn't end there. We chatted more about energy and politics and I certainly got my geek on about things like nuclear power, geothermal heating/cooling and natural gas/fracking. My husband had to remind me that it was getting late and I had better let my poor friends eat, drink and be merry while thinking about other, lighter topics before bed. I could go on and on.

So now I feel ready to go out and do more presentations around my community. I have agreed to do at least ten as part of my attendance at the Climate Reality Project's Climate Leadership Training back in July. So, if you know of a potential audience send me a message. Mama of Ma'at's climate change presentation coming soon to a public venue near you!

Yup, I wore my pin

Trunk or Treat!

Halloween is one week from today! My son is very excited and asks almost every day if it's time for trick or treating yet. Here in the islands houses are far apart making Trick or Treating in the traditional sense impractical. Sure, my husband grew up having his parents drive him from house to house to beg for candy, but that sounds utterly unappealing to me being raised as an "in town" girl.

Thankfully our town has a fun and environmentally-more-friendly solution! It's called Trunk or Treat. It's hosted at the local school (K-8, we have no high school of our own) and everyone parks their cars and hands candy out from their trunks. People decorate their cars in festive ways and the PTO sells snack foods. Everyone is in costume, even many parents, and it's just a giant party as kids go trunk to trunk to get their candy and the adults chat. Here is a picture of us at Trunk or Treat last year when my son was 2 and my daughter was 6 months old.

This year the Fire Department is offering prizes to cars who win in the following categories: scariest, funniest, most original, and most environmentally friendly. Environmentally friendly??? It has my name written all over it! How can I not participate? I still need to come up with an idea. The best thing would be to bike down to the school with my kids in a bike trailer. I would open up the bike trailer to reveal candy for eager trick or treaters, and perhaps decorate it with solar lights and have pretend windmills attached. Alas, I don't have a bike (I apologize), let alone one with a kid trailer. So what to do? Any ideas, dear readers? I would love to hear them.

Meet Our Chicken Band

Meet the members of our chicken band! The stately Alpha is the dark one in the foreground. To her right is Frieda, she and Alpha are buds, and they are our friendly chickens. Behind Frieda is Ciena, Ciena came from C.N. or "Crooked Nose" because her beak really is crooked. In the back is LBJ...which was an acronym for "Little brown" that became "Lady Bird Johnson," until we learned just how mean she can be. Then LBJ began to stand for "Little Brown Jerk." Currently, LBJ is molting which has mellowed her a bit for now.

Still we love them all. They are 2.5 year old buff orpington chickens, known for being superior egg layers.

Our chickens live in a coop built into the back corner of our barn. They have a fenced yard to protect them from our dog Pepper. We call it Chicken Fort Knox because while many of our neighbors have suffered chicken massacres due to foxes or raccoons or maybe even by a Fisher Cat (my neighbor saw a pair of the roaming around in the field across the road ), our chickens have been safe, knock on wood! It also helps that Pepper regularly patrols the grounds and leaves her scent, though we have still had a couple fox and coyote sightings when Pepper is inside.

Lately our barn is showing some potential for problems though. If a critter is smart and skinny enough it could come in through the hole in the barn facade shown below. (From the inside):

Then slither underneath the adjacent barn wall into the chicken yard in the hole shown here by the daylight shining through:

I think the chickens made that gap by pecking and scratching for bugs. From there a foreign critter could just walk in the chicken door and into the coop. They might even already be doing it and stealing eggs. Egg production is down and we're not entirely sure if it's due to fewer daylight hours from the changing seasons or a thief in the henhouse.

But, so far so good. Here's to a long, safe and healthy life for my hens. Though I would like to add some new chicks to the flock in spring. I hope the ladies will tolerate newcomers.

A Difficult Road to Motherhood: 2nd Term Pregnancy Loss

Originally written July 23, 2013

I got pregnant for the very first time in 2008. Around Thanksgiving I was only 5 weeks or so along, but my husband and I decided to share our news with our immediate families even though we knew it was probably early for such announcements. Things progressed well, and by Christmas we made announcements at the large extended-family gatherings. We had our first ultra-sound and everything looked good. By January 2009 I was officially in the second trimester and went to see Barack Obama inaugurated as President. On that trip I bought my first maternity clothes at a mall in Maryland. In March we went on a vacation in Florida and I happily wore maternity clothes to show off my growing bump. When we got home we had our big ultrasound appointment to look forward to. We were so excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl! I was 22 weeks along at the time of that appointment.

The day before the big ultrasound I started getting nervous. I hadn't felt many movements up to that point, and suddenly I felt movement that just didn't feel right. At the ultrasound, the doctor brought our baby up on screen but wasn't saying anything, just moving the sensor around for several minutes as we pointed out features we could recognize by ourselves. Then she quietly said she was going to find another doctor to look because she couldn't find the heartbeat. My heart was sinking because I already feared the baby was dead the night before, but denial is a strong emotion. The second doctor came in and confirmed that there was no heartbeat. I didn't know how to react, so I don't think I did much of anything. I was numb. I feared that somehow I had caused the baby's death. The doctor said I could go to the hospital that day to be induced if I wanted to, but I said no because it was all too much.

Later that day I changed my mind. The idea that my body had become my baby's tomb was too unsettling. I checked into the hospital at noon the next day, by midnight our baby girl was delivered. I was medicated with morphine which helped numb both the physical and emotional pain. It was devastating for my husband and I to go through labor without a newborn's cries as the reward for all the hard work. The onslaught of nurses, residents, social workers, and doctors asking us questions about naming our baby, burying our baby, and other topics we couldn't even begin to digest 24 hours after learning our baby died, made the experience even worse.

We wanted to hide just the two of us, we cried a lot. Suddenly it seemed like every tv show and commercial featured pregnancy or babies. It just seemed cruel. Even seeing friends' young children was hard. An autopsy showed that our baby, who we named Delia, had Turner's syndrome, a chromosomal defect that only affects girls. Many babies with Turner's syndrome don't survive to birth due to heart defects. That was the case with Delia.

It was hard facing well-meaning relatives who made well-intentioned comments that were just hurtful, or intrusive. I struggled with wanting people to acknowledge our loss without telling us "it was for the best" because of her disability, or prying too deeply into our crisis. To deal with everything I did a lot of reading online about stillbirth and late-term miscarriages and grieving those losses. Then in April, three weeks after Delia was delivered, I had a delayed postpartum hemorrhage and lost half my blood volume. It was insult added to injury and I felt scared and lost. I didn't trust my own body. I went to see a therapist, and fortunately after about 6 sessions I started to feel more like myself. Several weeks after losing Delia and recovering from the hemorrhage we had a graveside burial for her with our immediate families in attendance. She is buried with my father, her grandfather. It provided some closure and we could begin to really heal.

By June 2009, 3 months after losing Delia, I was pregnant again--excited but very cautious--worried that we would lose this baby too. We didn't tell anyone until the second trimester this time, and even then I didn't talk openly about my pregnancy. I felt awkward when strangers would ask "Is this your first baby?" and I felt like a liar when I answered "yes" just to avoid sharing my story. No one likes to talk about pregnancy loss. Luckily, I found an amazing OBGYN who treated me and my husband with tremendous empathy and she got us through our angst. Happily, one year and four days after delivering Delia, her brother was born!

I still think about Delia and her short existence. I have a mother's necklace that has a gemstone for her as well as ones for her brother and sister. Delia's stone changes color. In sunlight it's green, in the absence of sunlight it's purple. Whenever I meet a little girl named Delia I pause to think about what my Delia would have been like had she lived. She would have turned 4 this past summer. But time heals all wounds, and she will forever be in my heart.

I share this story not for your sympathy, but to bring stories like this out of the shadows. To remind people that pregnancy, unfortunately, doesn't always have a happy ending--sometimes it is absolutely tragic. For those who had a hard time becoming a mother, or who are still struggling, you are not alone, and there is hope that you will still have the family you want.

24 Hours of Reality

Travel virtually around the world to learn about how carbon pollution is affecting peoples' lives around the globe. Learn about how peoples' lives are already being affected, how cities are trying to adapt, and challenges climate change brings to food security and human health.

This year, 24 Hours of Reality begins on October 22nd at 8am. Visit here for a schedule of online events for various topics. The overarching theme this year is Putting a Price On Carbon. Even though world leaders are so far still refusing to act boldly to reduce carbon dioxide emissions we are already paying for the effects of climate change in disaster relief, food prices and insurance premiums: billions of dollars a year! Putting a price on carbon will make polluters pay for their carbon dioxide emissions and provide a great incentive to reduce them. Take a moment to watch this video for more explanation:



It's time for citizens to unite and demand action. Being involved in 24 Hours of Reality is one way to do that. If you are local, I am hosting a Climate Change presentation at my house the evening of Wednesday the 23. Message me (mamaofmaat@gmail.com) if you are interested in attending.

Australia has already implemented a tax on carbon, and so far it is definitely working:

Santa Comes Early

My son is discovering that there are a lot of toys available for purchase in the world. He sees toy commercials on tv if I'm not diligent enough to fast forward them or turn off his show in time. He also got to play with some fun remote control cars when we were running an errand at Radio Shack. Of course he tells me I should buy him every single toy he sees and likes.

Here it is, not even Halloween yet, but when faced with a steady stream of toy requests I answered, "Well, let's make a list so you can ask Santa for those toys. If you're good maybe he will bring you some of them."
So far his list includes:

• his own camera
• a guitar
• a "building" tow truck
• mighty mega monster trucks
• fancy magnetic blocks he saw on tv

Today, while playing with his father, he wrote his own letter to Santa and put it in an envelope. Since he's just 3 he can't actually write yet, so it's just red lines on the back of an old envelope that looks like a list. My husband put a fruit sticker on it as a postage stamp, and my son insists we need to mail it.

The envelope with fruit sticker stamp

His list for Santa

 At least with the concept of Santa Claus solidified I can deflect toy requests gracefully and give him incentive to behave. I can also read him The Berenstain Bears Meet Santa Bear book (again) where Sister Bear learns not to make her list for Santa too long.

Car Envy

I currently drive a 2008 Honda Odyssey--yup, a minivan. Two kids and a dog couldn't fit in our Honda Civic all at once so we wanted a family car. We went with the minivan (reluctantly at first due to the soccer mom stereotype that comes with them) because it has more potential to carry both people and cargo than an SUV.

As you likely know, I actively try to reduce my own family's carbon footprint. Since we do live in a rural part of Vermont and rely on trips "to town" for goods and some entertainment, reducing my family's driving emissions is definitely on my radar. The Honda Odyssey doesn't get amazing miles per gallon (mpg) compared to smaller vehicles, but it does very well in mpg for its class.

There have been three electric cars on our radar:

1) Chevrolet Volt - a 4 seater, 4 door sedan that is both an electric vehicle and gas powered hybrid. It's all electric range is only 38 miles. My husband's work commute is 20 miles one way. He would not be able to get to work and back, nor could I get to town and back without switching to the gas motor, which gives the car a total of 379 miles. It costs $39,000. But the whole point is to get away from gasoline. Also, as a sedan, it would not leave any room for our dog to come on a family outing with us.

Chevy Volt

2) Nissan Leaf - a 5 seater, 4 door hatchback that can get about 75 miles per battery charge, significantly farther than the Volt's electric range. The mpg equivalent is 99 (our Civic gets 40 maybe). The battery charges in 4 hours, and with a DC quick charger it can charge in 30 minutes. It costs about $29,000. Our dog could ride in the hatch as long as we don't need other gear.

Nissan Leaf

3) Tesla Motors Model S - Tesla is the cream of the crop for electric vehicles. The Model S is a 4 door "fastback" sedan that can seat up to 7 people (5 adults, 2 children in " jump seats"). Depending on which battery you buy it can travel 208-265 miles per charge. The biggest problem is that is costs a whopping $71,000! Our dog can ride in the trunk, once again, provided we don't need much gear wherever we are going.

Tesla Model S

Turns out in 2014 Tesla is coming out with their Model X, which they say combines the best features of both an SUV and a minivan. I imagine it will get a comparable driving range to the Model S. It has a third 3 row of seats so my poor dog wouldn't have to sit in the trunk/hatch, and we could bring luggage or other gear. Problem is who knows how much it will cost. I'm sure it will be significantly more than $71,000! But hey, a girl can dream.

Tesla Model X

According to DailyFinance.com, "At a national level, gas-powered cars cost around three times as much per mile as electric vehicles." However, electric vehicles often cost more to purchase initially than gas powered cars, which puts them at a disadvantage when calculating the lifetime cost of a car, except in the luxury model categories. Better data is needed. (http://www.dailyfinance.com/2013/06/24/gas-vs-electric-cars-cost-comparison/)

And of course , if you live in an area where your electricity is generated by coal, driving an EV is no better than a gas vehicle. Luckily, my utility is largely powered by hydropower, and we have solar panels. Now if I just had an extra $100,000 to buy a Tesla...

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What the Frack?

Did you know that Oil and Gas Companies can inject any chemical they want into the ground during fracking, including chemicals that are known hazards to human health? Did you know that the process of fracking is severely contaminating ground water in some places and the Environmental Protection Authority has zero authority to do anything about it? Vermont is leading the way in the fight against fracking by banning the practice, but we need to go further and phase out our use of natural gas. Fracking is destroying communities around the country, and does nothing to reduce our greenhouse gas emissions or the threat of climate change. That is not something Vermonters should support with our energy dollars.

The Global Frackdown
I am participating in the October 19 (2013) Global Frackdown and Climate Mama's Blog Carnival. This is the 2nd annual event and it is to:

"unite concerned citizens everywhere for a day of action to send a message to elected officials in our communities and across the globe that we want a future powered by clean, renewable energy, not dirty, polluting fossil fuels. The journey to a renewable energy future will not be fueled by shale gas. Climate scientists warn that continued extraction and burning of fossil fuels will lead to catastrophic climate change."

Renewable energy smackdown! Image Photoshopped by Mama of Ma'at

What the Frack?
Hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, is a risky method of drilling to extract natural gas and oil from shale rock. Gas companies drill a hole several hundred feet into the ground, then drill horizontally through the rock. Then a slurry of water, sand and hundreds of "proprietary" chemicals are injected into the wells to fracture the rock and allow the natural gas to seep out. Gas companies are not required to disclose what chemicals they use thanks to the "Halliburton loophole" created in the 2005 Energy Policy Act. Here is a link to a video that explains fracking in better detail.

The problems with fracking are many and include:

Health & Environmental issues,

• Permanently contaminated drinking water wells (eg: flammable tap water, radioactive water, water filled with known carcinogens)
• Illnesses in people living near wells (headaches, loss of taste/smell, unexplained pain)
• Sick and/or dead animals near fracking wells
• Earthquakes caused by fracking
• Leaking natural gas (a potent greenhouse gas) at drill sites which negate any emissions reductions that burning natural gas provides over burning coal from a climate perspective
• Water shortages due to competition over water for domestic uses vs. fracking

Democratic Process & Environmental Justice issues,

• The Environmental Protection Agency has been crippled (through law) and is not authorized to monitor fracking wells. Therefore, residents living around wells who have their groundwater contaminated due to fracking have no recourse against gas companies other than hiring a lawyer and hoping for the best.

Vermont as a Model
Thankfully, Vermont is a beacon of light in the fracking controversy. In May 2012 Governor Shumlin banned fracking in the State. However, it is considered to be a somewhat symbolic law since Vermont has little to no natural gas. We are not seeing agressive ads on tv that greenwash the natural gas industry. We are not being sent lease offers from gas companies offering us thousands of dollars per acre of land we own that is on top large shale deposits such as the Marcellus in New York/Pennsylvania, the Bakken in North Dakota/Montana, or others in Wyoming, Colorado, Texas and many other states. Nonetheless, our ban on fracking makes Vermont an ally for anti-fracking groups in other states that are fighting for the health of their communities.

What Vermont Should Still Do

Even though Vermont is not directly affected by fracking, we must still do everything we can to transition our state to renewable energy without relying on natural gas as a "bridge fuel." Even now, Vermont Gas Systems is trying to expand their network of natural gas pipelines (which currently serve Chittenden and Franklin counties) to include gas service for Middlebury and Vergennes. It is known as the Addison Natural Gas Project, and it is very controversial because it is seen as contrary to Vermont's renewable energy goals.

Fracking is a big piece in the climate change/fossil fuel puzzle. Transitioning to solar and wind power for electricity seems clear, but natural gas (and other fossil fuels) plays a large role in heating homes during long Vermont winters, and I think that is something we need to work more on. I have completed an energy audit on my home and insulated it to make it as efficient as possible. I have added a pellet stove to reduce my heating oil use, but due to the design of my house it is not possible to heat the whole house with wood pellets. I still rely on heating oil, and if I lived in Chittenden or Franklin counties I would likely rely on natural gas instead of heating oil. I looked into getting geothermal heat, but once again due to the design of my house, it is cost prohibitive. We need more people looking into developing biomass and other sources for thermal heating to help Vermont homeowners get off fossil fuels, including natural gas. We shouldn't import the product of fracking, which is destroying communities around the country, and contributing to climate change.

Rediscovering Our Roots

My mother is German. She moved here in 1979 with my American father. I loved having an international family growing up. I loved it that my parents were bilingual and that we traveled to Germany to visit my large extended family on a few occasions. At the same time, my family was very Americanized. I speak German very badly. I can get by, but it's a good thing that I have patient family members who can guess at what I want to say and then say it for me instead of letting me struggle for too long with my Germ-glish.

I have wondered how would I make my kids aware of their own German heritage. It doesn't easily come up in our very Vermonty/American way of life. We certainly don't speak German, not even with my mom. My own sense of connectedness to being German is more through feelings and memories rather than direct knowledge that I can pass down. I have great memories of Christmas in Germany as a 6 year old, and touring castles and caves as an 11 year old. I can name all my favorite German chocolate brands, and of course there's my Germ-glish speaking.

Happily, my aunt is here visiting for three weeks. She is authentic German. She does not speak english except for a handful of words including the phrase "I don't speak English!". She visited when my son was one, but he was way too young to comprehend that there was something different about her. But now he is three and he knows that she speaks another language and is from Germany. She speaks German, kind of like how Dora the Explorer speaks Spanish. I taught him a few German words. Easy things like: Hello (hallo). How are you? (Wie geht's). Good (gut). Good morning (Guten morgen). I love it how he will strike up a conversation with my aunt (Tante). He speaks in english of course, but it's OK--they still engage. He and my daughter both brought her item after item from the dollhouse and my aunt patiently told them what everything was in German. My son was fascinated.

Tonight he asked her to read one of our German language storybooks. The best part though, is when I overheard him tell his sister "That is gut!" or heard about how he taught his American-born grandmother all the German words he now knows. When the kids are bigger we will take them to Germany for a visit. Perhaps teaching my kids about their German roots won't be as hard as I once thought.

Reading "Puck und Seine Tiere" with his Tante

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Happy Birthday to Me!

The day that I share this on Facebook is my real birthday. Happy Birthday to me! 

Here is My Birthday Wish:

I want a world full of solar and other renewable energy because:

and I think that windmills are beautiful:

 

Especially when considering the alternative:

Canadian Tar Sands: boreal forests stripped then mined, no life remains, water is irreparably fouled

And lastly, because:

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A Conversation with the Speech Therapist

My daughter was born with a submucous cleft palate, which meant that she needed surgery when she was 14 months old to correct it. Then about a month after surgery a speech therapist started doing home visits to help her learn how to make more consonant sounds. All she said prior to surgery and speech therapy was 'Mama.' No other sounds or babbles.

She has made amazing strides in just two short months. The sophistication of her babble has skyrocketed. She says Ds, Fs, Bs, Ps, and her Zs sound more like actual Zs rather than just spit flying out of her mouth. She says a ton of words now, even giraffe of all things!

So last week the speech therapist and the program director came to check in about how we felt speech therapy was going.We talked about my daughter's progress and then the program director suddenly asked:

"How did weaning go?" (perhaps I had mentioned it at a previous visit? I forget).

"Very well," I said, "but it helped that she was fully weaned for 3 days when I went away in July, but we started again when I came back. We officially weaned a week ago and it was surprisingly easy."

"Where did you go again?" she asked.

"To the Climate Reality Climate Leadership Training in Chicago."

"How was it?"

"Great." Then I explained a bit about it, and how I am now a climate leader, and still need to do some public presentations in my community about climate change.

"So, give me your presentation." said the program director.

I was surprised and a bit incredulous. Someone who wants to talk climate change? Amazing.

I didn't quite know where to begin. Both the program director and the speech therapist indicated that they understood at least some of the basic science of climate change (the greenhouse gas effect, why it is enhanced by human activity), so I mentioned the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's latest report, we talked about renewable energy strategies, and about the big financial interests that are responsible for the climate policy standstill despite the fact that we know better.

"So was the conference inspiring or just depressing?" asked the program director. "Because the topic is very scary."

"Inspiring." I said, and I meant it. To be in a room full of people who acknowledge and understand climate science, and the state of our warming world enough to actively seek out some way to help even when politicians won't--that is inspiring. To hear about successful renewable energy stories, and projections for solar parity with fossil fuel sources of electricity in the near future, stories about tipping points and change being adopted sooner and faster than expected (eg: cell phones), inspires hope that we will solve this crisis in time.

The science is established, but now we need to win the grassroots conversation on the climate crisis. We need everyone to realize that climate change is something we all need to care about because it will affect everything we know and rely on. We need to demand change from our leaders, and the companies we do business with. People from all walks of life need to be actively opposed to fossil fuels, and actively asking for alternatives. To remain silent on the matter is no longer an option if we want a better future. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr:

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/martinluth103526.html#17Oe72b8sOBLr6WJ.99

Ok, enough grandstanding for now. But that impromptu conversation with the program director and the speech therapist...that was fantastic.

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Update on our New Sleeping Arrangement

Last week I wrote about co-sleeping, and how we had to end it because of all the kicks and bumps. We were excited to move little sister into big brother's room. She was less impressed. Even so, the first two nights went rather well. I just had to go in once a night to help her resettle herself after waking up around midnight or 1:00am (as is typical for her).

On the third night she revolted and woke up several times. Each time I laid with her in her toddler bed to get her back to sleep. It worked at first, but she failed to stay asleep. After a few tries I was too tired to keep it up and brought her into bed. The fourth night was the same.

This morning, after observing his sister sleeping soundly in our bed, I overheard my son sweetly tell his father, "I know why she doesn't sleep in her own bed. It's because her name isn't on the door." And it's true. My son's name is on the door. His great-grandma made him a sign over a year ago and it has been hanging there ever since. So today we made a sign for his sister too.

I have never had any luck finding all the right wooden letters at craft stores, so we used some cardboard from our recycling bin. In the morning when the paint dries we will hang it on the door with his, and maybe that will do the trick. I hope so, because as I write this she is sleeping snugly on my side of the bed.

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My Top Halloween Songs for Kids

I love marking the seasons with my kids. My 3 year old is just now getting old enough to really appreciate it. We are having a great autumn filled with colored leaves, fall art projects, pumpkins, cider, apples and cider donuts. Holidays are more fun with kids too. Halloween is still three weeks away but we have costumes planned and parties to attend. So to continue the Halloween momentum, I wanted to find some good Halloween songs for kids on YouTube. There are a lot of lame ones, so I have picked which four I thought were best to share with you.

1. Five Little Pumpkins
After watching several versions of this song on YouTube I picked this one as my favorite. The two little girls sing it clearly and do all the hand motions. They are sitting next to lit jackolanterns (very festive) and their excitement is genuine, unlike the syrupy versions of adults doing the song with the hand motions. My son loves watching other kids do things, so this is a perfect version.



2. The Skeleton Dance
This version of the Skeleton Dance is done by Super Simple Songs, my kids love their version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star so they are a trusted source. The song is animated with dancing skeletons and as they sing "the foot bone's connected to the leg bone" each bone lights up. It's another song that can get your kid moving and motioning while they sing. As cheesy as they might be, I think those types of songs are the most fun for kids.



3.  Halloween Cat 
I had never heard of this one, but it's a cute, short little rhyme with a cute video. It's got a fun slapstick ending [SPOILER ALERT] when the cat slips off the rock.



4. The Monster Mash
How could I not include this classic? It's animated with cute and friendly looking Halloween characters. Very benign, and very festive.




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The Cider Pressing Party

This weekend we went to a Cider Pressing Party. I've seen cider made at commercial orchards, but never tried it myself so it was a fun, new experience. We picked more than two bushels of apples from our own trees:

That in itself was fun. My husband climbed the trees and tossed them to me to catch. My son climbed the trees too and my daughter stood next to me posing to catch apples too. Adorable. Then went to a friend's house where they had some cider presses ready for guests to use and make our own apple cider.

My son helped me work the manual cider press. He tossed in the apples and I turned the crank.

Turning the crank chops up the apples into little chunks (skin and cores included) and collects them in a cheese cloth lined bucket.

Then, when it's full (or you're out of apples), you use the cheese cloth to wrap up the apple chunks, then put the bucket under the press. You then turn another lever to press the apple pulp....

and out flows the cider!



But it still has some apple pulp in it, so it gets filtered through some more cheesecloth before coming out the spout to fill your containers with the sweetest, freshest cider ever.

We ended up processing only half of our original 2+ bushels of apples, but here were our spoils: more than 4 gallons of apple cider to share and freeze.

We left our remaining apples at the party for others to use for their own cider. I'm looking forward to next year's cider party!



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Liberation Through Food

In one summer I have gone from someone who was afraid to try canning (hello botulism?), to someone who feels comfortable doing it and enjoys it--though it is a lot of work! I attribute this success to my friend who showed me how to do it by first canning dilly beans together, and then peaches and peach jam. It took off from there, and I can now say I have made: 5 jars or peach jam, 5 pints of peach slices, 4 pints of tomato sauce (plus more than 20 quarts of frozen tomato sauce), 6 pints of salsa, and 6 quarts and 1 pint of pear slices. I still want to can some apple sauce and pear sauce before the season is over.

L to R: canned peach jam and slices, tomato sauce, salsa, pear slices

Though my canned (and frozen) stores, are no where near what we would need to get through a winter, it is a strong start. Now I'm thinking about how many tomato plants I will need in my garden next summer to yield enough bushels of tomatoes to make all the spaghetti sauce and salsa we would want over the following year. It is so liberating to go to the grocery store and think I don't have to buy that or that or that. My list of items not to buy includes all the items I canned this summer, plus potatoes, eggs and maple syrup. I have the peace of mind of knowing exactly what went into producing and growing all those foods too.

Both my mom and my husband's grandfather grew up in families that gardened and canned, and/or raised chickens for meat and eggs. They have both told me on different occasions "We were poor, but we always had plenty of food." To me, in an age of excessive consumption and when stuff piles up in our houses without even thinking about it, it seems funny to say that. It seems funny only because if you have plenty of food (and a place to grow it) how can you be poor? Of course, there are lots of things we need paper currency in order to procure, but I think having plentiful food is a great wealth. Growing it myself, and the sense of self-reliance I get from the process is empowering and liberating.

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