Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day

Once upon a time my boyfriend picked me up from my college campus for a weekend getaway for Valentine's Day

A few years later that same boyfriend suggested we fly to Paris. It wasn't for Valentine's Day per se, but it did coincide with the holiday so we said it was.


Predictably, since that boyfriend became my husband and we had children , Valentine's Day has been replaced with simpler gestures. Flowers, a box of chocolates, dinner out. Even that has morphed to getting Vietnamese takeout to eat at home.

This year we are all still sick from last week so putting some festive clothes on the kids was all we could muster. Nevertheless, there is so much love to celebrate!

Happy Valentine's Day!


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

SAHMs don't get sick days

Stay at home moms (parents) don't get sick days. I would have to be really ill for my husband to justify staying home from work, as in stomach flu sick. Unfortunately a bad cold with sore throat doesn't qualify. 

Then again, does anyone really get sick days? For many a sick day means you work from home on your laptop. Maybe you sneak in a nap, but thanks to phone and internet it's too easy to carry on even while hacking up a lung.

Then there are people who work even when sick due to deadlines, staff shortages, or they just can't afford to miss a shift. It's sad really when you think about it.

My sick day went something like this:

I lingered in bed because my husband got Big Bro dressed, fed, and out the door to preschool. Lil Sis and I stayed home. It was a morning with too much screen time for Lil Sis as I nursed my tea and stared into space--sleeping with my eyes open.

Got Big Bro from school. Made lunch for everyone, then remembered that we had dentist appointments that afternoon and it was too late to cancel. Let Big Bro watch a show before we had to go to the dentist, which meant Lil Sis did too. Helped them brush teeth and load into the car.

Arrived at dentist. I had my turn first. Big Bro was excited and told me it was his turn next. He looked like a little Men In Black guy there with his black sweatsuit and black shades. It was his second dentist visit and he did incredibly well.


Lil Sis excitedly watched her brother get his teeth cleaned. While in the safety of my arms as I stood next to the chair she opened her mouth wide, said ahh, and stuck out her tongue and declared, "My turn!" When it actually was her turn she kept her mouth and eyes closed. She was done. 


We drove home on back roads because of a detour necessitated by a traffic collision of some sort. Big Bro fell asleep. 

Back at home we tried to visit Nini, but Big Bri was tired and cranky so he and Lil Sis watched yet another show and had a snack while I cooked dinner. 

Husband came home a bit later than usual, but we all ate together. Then he suggested I go up to bed and got the kids ready for bed himself. Thank goodness for that because I was ready to crash.

I can't have a sick day where I can watch tv and nap all day anymore. Those were the good old days, but at least I did get a little extra sleep/rest compared to a normal day thanks to my husband.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

No Phone Zone Fail

Just before Christmas, I saw an article called "Our Unplugging Challenge: Seven Days Without Our Devices." That night during the kids' bathtime I mentioned it to my husband and suggested maybe we could try it over Christmas vacation. He sort of laughed, so I amended my request to having a "no phone zone" while the kids are awake. That's a good idea, he agreed while looking up from his smartphone. We didn't end up doing it though. Our kids like to play a couple games on our phones, and they like to watch Sesame Street songs on YouTube too.

A couple years ago, a study showed that using our smart phones lights up the same areas of our brain that love does. We literally love our phones. "Some psychologists suggest that using our iPhones and BlackBerrys may tap into the same associative learning pathways in the brain that make other compulsive behaviors — like gambling — so addictive."

That's kind of sad.

I'm guilty. I check my phone a lot. It's just so easy. It just takes a minute here and there. The kids are entertaining themselves for a minute? Great! I'll check the latest updates on Facebook! But do I really need to read and like the gazillion climate news stories in my feed? Or the latest cute kid picture? Do I need to read yet another parenting blog?

The other day I was parked by the lake as my daughter slept in the car, and it wasn't yet time to collect my son from preschool. It was a cold day and the ice fisherman were out. I should have sat in the car staring at the lake and the ice and the horizon for 10 minutes. I did look for a bit, but then, almost without thinking about it, I pulled out my smart phone.

Whoops.

I kind of miss the days before cell phones. Days when I went out without caring that maybe no one could reach me for a while. Days when I took trips to see friends in neighboring states with nothing but printed out directions. Days before Facebook existed, before Words With Friends existed. There was a certain kind of freedom.

Now that I have a smart phone (since late 2010) it's hard to give it up. It's annoying not being able to look up something whenever I want, or snap a photo whenever I want, take my turn in a game, or check status updates. I honestly don't think it's a problem how much I use my phone, but it would be good to use it less.

Maybe I will do that 7 Day Challenge afterall. Maybe.

image found at:sunny-cookie.blogspot.com

Thursday, December 19, 2013

My Top 10 Lists for 2013

I have decided to join my son and husband in taking time off from normal routine (school/work) for Christmas break and not write any new posts until 2014.

I have been blogging since August and it's been a fun creative outlet, cathartic soapbox, and sounding board on the issues and topics important to me. Thank you, readers! I hope you will continue to read next year, and invite your friends.

Now without further ado, I leave you with two lists because lists are popular ways to sum up the year:

My 10 Most Popular Posts of 2013
  1. Call to Action: Love Letters 4 Our Planet
  2. Why I Don't Cloth Diaper
  3. From City Mice to Country Mice
  4. Introduction to Mama of Ma'at
  5. Like Nails on a Chalkboard
  6. Plastic Things I Cannot Wait for my Kids to Outgrow
  7. My Daughter's First Baby Music Class
  8. Facebook 'Like' Etiquette
  9. Sleep Wars
  10. Update on Our New Sleeping Arrangement

My 10 Most Popular Climate Change Posts of 2013
  1. Call to Action: Love Letters 4 Our Planet
  2. Reducing My Family's Carbon Footprint
  3. Basic Climate Change Science (Q&A)
  4. Millions of Peaches, Peaches for Free
  5. A Conversation with the Speech Therapist 
  6. Happy Birthday to Me!
  7. What's All the Fuss about Solar Net Metering?
  8. Can Going Green Pay Off (in Board Games)?
  9. Geeking Out and Saving the World
  10. Car Envy

Other Posts I Recommend
  1. A Dumbledore's Army, of sorts
  2. What the Frack?
  3. Liberation Through Food

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


Monday, October 14, 2013

Rediscovering Our Roots

My mother is German. She moved here in 1979 with my American father. I loved having an international family growing up. I loved it that my parents were bilingual and that we traveled to Germany to visit my large extended family on a few occasions. At the same time, my family was very Americanized. I speak German very badly. I can get by, but it's a good thing that I have patient family members who can guess at what I want to say and then say it for me instead of letting me struggle for too long with my Germ-glish.

I have wondered how would I make my kids aware of their own German heritage. It doesn't easily come up in our very Vermonty/American way of life. We certainly don't speak German, not even with my mom. My own sense of connectedness to being German is more through feelings and memories rather than direct knowledge that I can pass down. I have great memories of Christmas in Germany as a 6 year old, and touring castles and caves as an 11 year old. I can name all my favorite German chocolate brands, and of course there's my Germ-glish speaking.

Happily, my aunt is here visiting for three weeks. She is authentic German. She does not speak english except for a handful of words including the phrase "I don't speak English!". She visited when my son was one, but he was way too young to comprehend that there was something different about her. But now he is three and he knows that she speaks another language and is from Germany. She speaks German, kind of like how Dora the Explorer speaks Spanish. I taught him a few German words. Easy things like: Hello (hallo). How are you? (Wie geht's). Good (gut). Good morning (Guten morgen). I love it how he will strike up a conversation with my aunt (Tante). He speaks in english of course, but it's OK--they still engage. He and my daughter both brought her item after item from the dollhouse and my aunt patiently told them what everything was in German. My son was fascinated.

Tonight he asked her to read one of our German language storybooks. The best part though, is when I overheard him tell his sister "That is gut!" or heard about how he taught his American-born grandmother all the German words he now knows. When the kids are bigger we will take them to Germany for a visit. Perhaps teaching my kids about their German roots won't be as hard as I once thought.
Reading "Puck und Seine Tiere" with his Tante



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Sunday, September 22, 2013

Growing Up as a Family

My husband and I have decided that our family is complete. No more babies for us. As a result, I have started looking at couples announcing first pregnancies or navigating the first year of their baby's life in the same way that I looked at college freshman when I was a recent graduate. They are excited, nervous, a bit naive, but in for a great, life-changing adventure.

We have completed the pregnancy and infant stage. It was absolutely wonderful, and it's sad to let it go, but I'm ready. We are ready as a family to move on to new things. I love the stage that we are at right now with a toddler and a preschooler. Now my kids can communicate their needs much of the time, they can walk and run, they laugh at jokes, they do funny and brilliant things. My husband and I can teach them things, do fancier projects and read increasingly interesting stories at bed time.

I'm starting to see the light at the end of the diaper tunnel, I looking forward to steadily reducing the baby gear needed for really little ones: carriers and special dishes and high chairs. I'm looking forward to (hopefully) more restful nights with fewer interruptions. I'm excited for the activities we will be able to do with our kids as they grow: family trips, movies, theater, school functions, etc.

Life will get easier in a way once we are really free of naps and diapers and gear. Our activities and interactions will become more sophisticated. But parenting will get more complex too as my children grow from cuddly, mommy/daddy-worshiping babies into real kids with their own sense of self: dealing with conflicting ideas on what is appropriate behavior, rebellion, sibling rivalry, and letting them out into the wider world where I can't protect them from every hurt. We are definitely in the Authority stage with my 3 year old, as described by Ellen Galinsky. Setting and enforcing rules can be really difficult, and this is only the beginning!

I'm sure parents in each stage of parenthood look back at the earlier stages in the same way I now look at those in the pregnancy and infant stage--with both a sense of nostalgia and relief that they made it through. The important thing, of course, is to enjoy each stage and live it to the fullest while you're in it.



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Monday, August 12, 2013

From City Mice to Country Mice

Having the background of an environmentalist, a city planner and a transportation planner who thoroughly supports the theory of New Urbanism, I knew I wanted to live in the city when we moved back to Vermont from Los Angeles. That meant moving to Burlington. The lovely little house we renovated was located in the Old North End of Burlington was it was perfect. It was in a mostly residential area right next to downtown. I spent many days when Big Bro was an infant just walking around the neighborhood, to the waterfront, and to downtown with him in the Baby Bjorn and our dog Pepper happily trotting along with us. We walked anywhere we wanted to go, laughed at traffic during rush hour, and at the traffic trying to leave after events like the July 4th fireworks. We ate out constantly, we met so many young, friendly people. It was a diverse neighborhood with people from all over the world who had settled in Burlington through the Vermont Refugee Resettlement Program. It was all cute, historic, human-scale streets. We had more than one park within easy walking distance. We even had our own little grassy backyard that we mowed with a mechanical pushmower, barbequed, threw parties and played games. Our own slice of paradise.

Meanwhile, my husband's parents still lived in his childhood home in the Champlain Islands and the house next door to them had come up for sale. At first I resisted. Our little city house was perfect, and we had spent so much sweat equity making it so, and the LOCATION, how could we leave the location! But then again, this house in the Islands had almost 4 acres of land and an attached apartment.

One hot July day it all started to change. Our neighborhood that I loved so much was considered sketchy by many of our friends. To be fair, the Old North End does have a lot of poverty, plus issues with crime and drugs, but there are plenty of "good" people there that it was ok. That summer the apartment house across the street from us started having a lot of undesirable activity: people shouting obscenities in the streets and Police responses to the premises on more than one occassion, and a biker gang who liked to park out front and rev their engines. "What if we do just go look at that house?" I asked my husband. "Really??" was his response. "Yeah, but could my mom live in the apartment if she wanted to?" That was my stipulation and he agreed.

We went to see the house on another hot July day. The house was musty from being closed up for a long time. It was still full of lots of the seller's stuff, and nothing had been updated since the 1970s when it was built. There was orange shag carpet, turquoise shag carpet, and an old red carpet that was more like a blanket on the floor because all the glue had long ago dissolved. Nevertheless, it was large and had lake views. There was a fireplace, a big kitchen, and then what really drove it home was the big screened-in porch on the back. "Uh oh." I told my husband. "I really like it."

We made an offer, it was accepted. We put our cute, little city house on the market. We closed on the country house on October 1st. We closed on the sale of our city house on October 31st. While in negotiations to sell our city house there was a murder just a few houses down the street. It helped me feel like leaving our perfect little city house was the right move after all.

Now we have egg laying chickens, a garden, and goats. We tap our own trees to make maple syrup. Maybe my next career will be farming. Our dog loves roaming the almost 5 acres of "the compound" as my mother-in-law affectionately calls our living arrangement. She (Grandma) and Grandpa live next door and adore playing with their grandchildren. My mom, known as Nini to the grandkids, lives in the attached apartment and we love sharing meals with her. My kids have an amazing (and rare) experience to grow up knowing all of their living grandparents extremely well. Life is good.

Below: Pictures from the backyard of our city house






Below:  At our country house with the chicks and our first garden in the background.
 

Below: Putting taps in the maple trees


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